Why are feelings sometimes oversized? Do you remember how big your house looked when your were a small child? Many years later when you go back to visit, you are surprised to see how modest it really was. Of course you remembered it the way it seemed at the time. Feelings are similar. The younger we are, the bigger feelings feel. When two-year-olds have a meltdown, it is real. At the time, it feels as if the world is coming apart.
Small children don’t have perspective on emotions. Now is forever and big is gigantic. When seemingly minor adult situations trigger giant feelings it is usually because they take us back to a much earlier age, perhaps when we were struggling with problems too big to master. Those feelings and problems were buried and stored away to heal some day. When you go through the experience with someone you trust, you begin to see through the eyes of the other. Feelings get right-sized as you see from a more adult perspective. (See the main website, Psytx.com for a more extensive explanation of how emotions heal)